VALUABLE LESSONS MILLENNIALS WISH THEY HAD LEARNED ABOUT THEIR EARLY TWENTIES

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I recently wrote an article on things that I wish I knew about dating and sex when I was younger. 

Today I will be writing another one of the same kind. Consider it more like a series. 

As we grow up, we learn a lot of things and some of those things we wish we knew earlier because we believe it would have made a difference in our lives. Most of us have things we wish we knew about our lives, especially our twenties since it is the decade that vastly shapes our lives. It is in our twenties that we are in college, seeing and associating with all kinds of people and also trying to figure out how to live life on our way and doing things on our own, away from our parents and guardians. It is in our twenties that we start working and taking responsibility for our food, housing, and even health. It is also in our twenties that we, sometimes, meet the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

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So much happens in our twenties that we sometimes wonder 'what if'. 'What if I knew saving from an early time will be valuable for me?' and stuff like that.

To come up with this post I spoke to a couple of friends and acquaintances about their twenties and what they wish they knew. Many of them had so much to say. I realized I wasn't the only one who thought about this subject. So many have thought about it, often and even journaled about it. Others were uncomfortable talking about it because they have made mistakes they aren't okay with. 

But everyone has made mistakes. Everyone had something to learn. And everyone is still growing and that in itself is beautiful.

Personally, I made mistakes when it came to friendships, dating, family, and even work. I hurt a couple of friends cause I was dealing with my own stress and didn't know how to manage it, so I let it out on them. I missed a couple of classes in college cause I was too tired of waking up early in the morning to study something I wasn't intrigued with or motivated to. I dated a couple of guys that I shouldn't have. I spend so much time on things I shouldn't have and at some point, my life and goals didn't take priority.

I should note that these people are still in their twenties and still learning.

I will just list them and not by name for the sake of anonymity.

So, here are some of the things that they wish they knew about their twenties;

Person A

1.) It's a blessing ( in disguise) to not have it all figured out. Going through a period of confusion actually helps you find and build yourself.

2.) Your taste in men actually changes as you grow. You don't like the men you think you like. I personally cannot date the same guys I dated in my early twenties.

3.) The intrapersonal relationship is important. Having a relationship with yourself will among other things, help you feel internal completeness and help you have a strong sense of self.

4.) Self-awareness is a vital part of our lives and the more you know yourself, the more likely you're able to understand others. We should all commit to continually discover ourselves.

5.) Introspection is a skill that everyone needs to develop; introvert or not. 

"The unexamined life is not worth living " These words come from Plato's apology, which is a recollection of the speech Socrates gave at his trial.

We shouldn't go about life as if we know everything, instead, we should try to examine our lives as information presents itself.

6.) Mental health is important and we should prioritize it more.

7.) We are the sum of both our strengths and weakness and that is what makes us unique and human.

8.) It's okay not to be self-sufficient. Learning when to ask for help is important and that there is strength in being vulnerable.

9.) Financial education is important and it takes time and effort to master one's finance.

10.) It's okay not to fit in. l spent a good chunk of my life thinking I needed fixing. That I needed to be more extroverted. I thought that I needed to be that 'cool' girl that's always the life of a party or that girl that has most 'fun' in the night club, only to realize that l never enjoyed any of those activities. In all honesty, they don't even make sense to me.

I am therefore learning to be unapologetically authentic and spending my time doing the things that l actually enjoy and sparks life in me. Fun and cool are relative.

Person B

1. You are Enough

-No, your girlfriends or boyfriends, close friends, society or even family's opinion of you should make You doubt that

2. Network

-It's good for your C.V

-This means Volunteer, Events, Concerts, Seminars, Camps, Conferences name it

3. Self-Care

-Treat yourself Babygirl. Spas, Manipedis, Good food, Naps, Picnics, Hikes, Horse riding, Swimming, Road trips, Sunsets. Feel Good.

4. Research

-Do your assignments. No copy pasting or just signing your name on the group assignment. No. Hit the Library. Consult your peers, Lecturers, freaking Google. Bottomline figure things out. 

5. Company

-Watch the friends you keep. Simply check your output around them. Is it something you'd show your parents?

6. Create

-Turn your Confusion into a production. Truth is this a really confusing time. The height of emotional rollercoaster. One day You feel so elated the next day you feel like the epitome of a basket case so keep your sanity and Be Crafty and Get more Crafty.

Learn To Create Something

7. Be Centered

-The best way is simply with faith and family.

This means God first, God through to the end. Pray. Praise. Worship. Read the Bible. Stay active in Church and Community. Be around family and present.

8. Go For it

-Your Crush, That internship, Promotion, Business idea, Bye to Ex, Hell even Apology to Ex, YouTube Channel, Masters Abroad name it... give it a shot and give it Your best. Even if it doesn't work out You will Grow Confidence and insight on the intricacies.

9. It's Okay Not to Be Okay

-Cry. Eat a bowl of ice cream and a Box of Chocolate. Finish the box of Tissues. It's allowed. He left. You got Fired. You are a jobless graduate. You are pregnant. You've been overly single. It's okay.

RELATED: 9 Little-Known Ways To Stop Feeling Sad/Down

10. Identity

Who are you? I mean who are you really?

Not just someone's son/daughter/sibling. Not someone's husband/wife/fiance/girlfriend/boyfriend. Or some Company's C.E.O. You are More.

11. Keep Going

- Headaches are there; left, right, and center. But keep calm and keep going. Facts say if you reach 25 without committing suicide you can boldly say Hello to the rest of the century 😊

12. Stay Positive

-This Comes from Being Grateful every day.

BE HAPPY, BE YOU & DO YOU

Person C

1 Focus on building yourself, the right person will come your way 

2. Have as much fun as you can in your 20s before responsibilities overwhelm you

3. Relationships and marriages are overrated...

4. Enough knowledge of contraceptives...

5. Time flies in your 20's, do as much as you can. I can't believe am headed to 30 

6. Evaluate your friendships and invest in the right one's

Person D

I wish I was told life was this challenging 

Financially, emotionally and I swear physically.

I wish I was told to not be hard on myself and most times things work out better than we  hoped

Person E

Wow, great topic there.

Well for me I think I got these parent who told me and my siblings everything but still, I will help because I've had to help out friends

So;

1) I am never too young. Parents/family always tend to hold on to the baby you were and kinda forget that you are growing up and the world is out there and still you will have to face it on your own 

 I can't stress this enough but I hope you get the point 

2)Enjoy the journey of becoming.  Parents/fam will always push you to be that great lady/man for that great job until you miss out on the present joy of trying to get there(wherever that is)

Person F

I wish I didn't trust everyone that came my way.

I wish I visited more places.

I wish I had a savings account.

I wish I didn't rush things in my relationship.

Person G

 I have learned always to be in control of your life, no matter how much you want to leave it to fate.

And when you can't control anymore of it, with grace, gratitude and dignity let it go. The lesson here is, although my life is my own to run, there will always be parts I can't and it's okay

 I have also learned to be patient, in all ways, it is the grace of life. Because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't.

Love life, it is wonderful in all things in all situations just love life. It is a gift and you might regret it later if you don't enjoy it

What I wish I knew is, exercise is important, and carbs are the enemy. 

I wish I knew that jobs are hard to do especially with chronic depression. I wish I knew how much my trauma will define my future and the choices I make

Person H

1. Relationships

2. Sex

3. Investments

4. How to handle stress

5. The transition from one Age-set to another

6. How to handle peer pressure

These are just some of the feedback I got. You may have noticed that relationship and work were mentioned in most of them and its true those things take precedence in our twenties. So much tends to happen when it comes to relationships and work that we don't expect.

Hope you enjoyed the reading.